Open Mic: Try Your Hand at Fear

In a 60 Minutes interview, New York Senator Hillary Clinton tells correspondent Steve Kroft that Barrack Obama is NOT the illegitimate love child of George W. Bush and Margaret Thatcher… as far as she knows. She says she feels for the Illinois Senator because she has experienced the effects of vicious rumors herself, like those reporting that she dreams of waking up at 3 AM seeking to resolve a terrorist crisis. “Even though I have read reports on the Internet that Dubya had unhealthy three-way sex with world leaders when he was teenager snorting cocaine, I don’t believe them for a moment, “ Clinton said, “Seconds — perhaps — but not a moment.”

Meanwhile, the sunny Seattle real estate market continues to be blazing hot, as the remainder of the country settles into a dampened, cloudy future for home sales. Just hours after the ashes of a number of Street of Dreams model homes near Woodinville cooled from the effects of a fiery arson blaze, hopeful buyers flocked to the sales office to sweep up the remains at a slightly discounted price. While the homes once might have sold for $10 million each, buyers could procure ashes for a mere $2 million to $3 million. An agent in the sales office remarked buyers were looking at the ashes like “moon rocks,” and lining up to get a trace of their own private dream. Public relations people were busy cataloguing and labeling the ashes to give them a measure of authenticity. “I never thought I could buy a piece of a “Street of Dreams” home,” one satisfied buyer said as he left the office. “Now, I can tell my kids that I own a piece of Woodinville history!”

Sometimes the comedy at an open mic can be blazing hot — especially if you’re watching the greats like Derek Sheen who hosts the regular Tuesday night open mic at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club at 7 pm. Sometimes comics will make an “ash” of themselves” in preparation for greatness. But you, the audience provides the combustion and the chemistry for a night of quantum leaps into humor and delightful retreats into still life. Warmed with laughs, and chased by the percussion of a musical open mic that follows, you might feel ready to move forward in the world. At 3AM the next morning — when the phone rings at the White House — you’ll be ready to solve that crisis, or at least roll over and snort.