Athol/Media Debate: An Open Mic for Surrogates

After a full two weeks without any debates between the presidential candidates, the campaigns have authorized a new Media/Athol debate between campaign surrogates of the Clinton/Obama/McCain camps. Already, cable providers are lining up to get “pay-per-view” rights to broadcast of what should be a firestorm of unprecedented verbiage in US political history. The debate is scheduled at high noon on April 1, at the auditoriums of Athol Senior High in Athol, Massachusetts and Media Senior High, in Media, Pennsylvania.
Surrogates participating in the debate include Clinton dropout Geraldine Ferraro, (D-Black Privilege) Obama athletic supporter, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright (D-Cajones) of Chicago’s Trinity United Church of Christ, and McCain hatemonger, the Rev. John Hagee (R-Texas Tease).
Each of the campaign insiders will be focused on the issues that stand on the precipice of the American future. Should God “damn America?” Should the Catholic Church get out of the escort business or should Elliot Spitzer be appointed its new Pope? Are black Americans spoiled too much in America?
The mayor of the Northern Massachusetts host city of Athol, says this is the biggest moment in the history of that community since it became the third city in the state to name itself after then-incumbent Gov. Edmund Peabody — following Peabody and Marblehead. The mayor of Media was unavailable for comment.
If you find yourself particular inspired by the Athol/Media debate, remember that April 1 is a Tuesday this year. You might want to be a surrogate for the candidate of your dreams on that very night. Bring your friends, or bring your enemies and put yourself up front and personal at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club open mic. Break into a song at 9 pm or break into a deep political message at 7 pm. It doesn’t matter, it’s Open Mic night. It’s your opportunity for your five minutes of fame. If your message doesn’t come across, yell out “April Fools,” get yourself a drink from the bar and consider moving on up to Athol.