It’s that wonderful time of year when you stop thinking of spirits past, scary dreams and even scarier realities.
But enough about George W. Bush
It’s opening day of the baseball season here in Seattle — a time when George W. Bush’s Texas legacy arrives to show local fans that, YES Virginia! There is a team with a worse history than the Mariners! While the Mariners talk of punching their way through the season to become appetizers for the ravenous Red Sox Nation in October, the Rangers face the indignity of having their name changed to the “would-be Rangers from the Dallas-Fort Worth suburb of Arlington.”
Yes, the Mariners are following George W. Bush’s strategy and mounting a “surge” with fiscal insanity rarely seen on this side of Iraq. The team has opened the season with what owners expect to be the league’s best pitching rotation. The new squad will be motivated with big salaries, the finest in video game entertainment, and paychecks made out in Euros. Like Hillary Clinton before them, the Mariners believe. So does Seattle. Only nattering nabobs of negativism, or maybe the Los Angeles Angels from the suburb of Anaheim, California, could keep the Seattle Mariners from their Inaugural World Series. Even Arizona Diamondbacks supporter Senator John McCain says he sees a Mariner World Series just ahead — even if it takes 100 years.”
Is this a time of hope for you? Do you have the right stuff for comedy? Join Derek Sheen and a gang of comic athletes that could make the 1977 Mariners look deep every Tuesday evening at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club. Make comedy at 7 pm or make music at the 9 pm musician open mic.
Just don’t make war. Just don’t wake up the Texas Rangers.
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