International space travel is a moving experience. It is a billion dollar enterprise of technology, courage, and rudimentary plumbing boldly flushing where no man has flushed before.
Until now.
Astronauts living in the claustrophobic confines of the International Space Station report the most vexing problem in the history of the space time continuum. If a plumber is called to fix a toilet in the far reaches of outer space, where Mondays and Sundays can pass faster than a can of out-of-date chili, does he bill for weekend hours?
NASA’s Roto Rooter division is breathlessly awaiting the answer to this problem as astronauts and cosmonauts become increasingly P.O.’d by the absence of a working toilet in the space station. In a world of zero gravity, plumbing failures are never a minor obstruction. It doesn’t help that the failed toilet was built by Russian engineers who have been unable to find suitable relief for the station’s inhabitants.
Thus, the Shuttle Discovery is poised to eliminate more waste than a library of Bush administration tell-all books as it prepares to carefully plunge into the space station this weekend, one ballcock at a time. Of course, if NASA had any Vulcan logic or at least had a feminist thought, there would be more than one toilet on the space station.
But then, whoever said there was intelligent life on Earth?
If you have any misconceptions about intelligent life on this planet, Geno Bisconte will discount them. Be sure to join Geno this weekend at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club for shows at 8 pm Thursday, and 8pm and 10:30 Friday and Saturday. The Mainstage Comedy and Music Club has good, patriotic American toilets. Most of the time, they work.
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