Just a day after denouncing certain politicians in the United States seeking “appeasement” with terrorists, George W. Bush landed in Saudi Arabia to mingle with Osama bin Laden’s “home boys.” Sources close to Bush say the US President is prepared to offer the Saudis certain undesirable parts of the United States in order to prevent another attack like the one Saudi Arabians led on September 11, 2001, and at the same time reduce oil prices until Senator John McCain can be safely elected to succeed Bush in November.
Admiring Saudi Arabia’s misogynistic rule of its homeland, Bush said he was willing to turn over America’s “Sudatenland” which is today known as “California.” After California legalized gay marriage Thursday, Bush says, the state needs the fatherly guidance of a Saudi Arabia to “put it in its proper place.” The state is a well-known refuge for “uppity women” that not only are allowed to drive, but actually are sent to Washington, DC to serve in the Congress. “It’s no wonder there are so many gay men in California,” Bush says. “Men just aren’t permitted their rightful place. Being a part of Saudi Arabia will cure that problem.”
Senator Joseph Lieberman meanwhile, denied reports that he and McCain are having a secret affair on the Straight Talk Express bus. “I am just assisting the Senator in keeping his bearings straight,” Lieberman says. “The fact that we are parked here in the San Francisco County Clerk’s office waiting for it to open this morning is just a coincidence.”
Senator Barrack Obama, the presumptive Democratic nominee for President says he doesn’t mind Bush giving back formerly occupied territory to another imperialistic country. He, however, suggested that there are country’s that already have the kind of “bitter” people who might be more comfortable being in Saudi Arabia. “I think the Saudi’s already have regular scheduled air service to Texas and West Virginia,” Obama suggested.
If you’re a misogynist or a feminist chances are you’ll appreciate the musings of comedian Chris Porter on the differences between men and women. Porter, who has traveled the mean streets of Kansas City to “Last Comic Standing’s Live at Gotham,” has some unique perspectives that politicians in Washington and Riyadh rarely understand. See him this weekend at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club in two shows Friday and Saturday at 8 pm and 10:30 pm. See him, while gas prices are still low.
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