Dwight Slade: Stand By Your Party

In her continuing effort to shore up her support in the “white working class” communities, New York Senator Hillary Clinton gave out pseudoephedrine-inclusive samples of Sudafed and an Internet recipe on how to formulate methamphetamine. “Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble,” Clinton snorted, showing off a newly missing tooth. “Hey Lurleen, listen to this!.”

Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one smarty party
You'll have your victories
No longer an inferiority
Doing things white folks understand
Being mother superior no need to con
Even when the face of darkness carries on

Officials at the Clinton campaign blamed the number on the tiring Democratic Primary campaign that has last 15 months and is apparently on its final, exhausted legs. They said Clinton’s earlier appearance at a Klu Klux Klan rally was simply an effort to expand the Senator’s reach into diverse minority audience. “She really felt like she filled out that sheet to its maximum,” the campaign official said. “When old man infidelity came a’ knocking at my door, I stood by my man,” Clinton told the robed gathering. “ I didn’t go black. Now, I want to make sure the entire country doesn’t go black. If it does, it will never come back!”
Clinton says despite her declining chances for victory, she will do whatever is necessary to pick up the remaining pledged and super delegates she needs to reverse her fortunes. She is already planning a duck hunting trip to Montana with Vice President Dick Cheney just before that state’s June 3 Primary. “If I shoot first, and ask questions later, I could still win this thing,” she says.
You too could be a winner, without taking your life in your hands. Plan on laughing yourself silly this weekend at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club — unlike Hillary Clinton you have every chance of reaching your goal because this weekend we feature Dwight Slade Thursday through Saturday at 8 pm. Saturday evening, enjoy an extra late show at 10:30 pm. We provide all the stimulants you can legally enjoy —Robes and shotguns are discouraged.