Slade, White Sox and Elephants — the Socks Are Off!

It’s now official. The Clinton campaign is over. The word came not with a bang or a consolation, but a “Meow!” Socks Clinton, the former first feline — fresh from the funeral of her benefactor, Baskin-Robbins co-founder Irvine Robbins, and sporting a memorial pralines and cream moustache — pointed to his litter box when asked where the Clinton campaign goes from here.
While some reporters expected a pussy-whipped answer from a one-time beloved member of the Clinton family, Socks expressed no bitterness about being abandoned by the Clintons and sent to live with former White House Secretary Betty Currie. Socks, now approaching age 18, purred quietly on his throne as his spokesman dealt with reporters. “Not only is he not bitter,” Currie said, reminding reporters of Senator Obama’s remarks on the Pennsylvania campaign trail, “he has not sought spiritual aid or help in sharpening his claws.”
There was indeed satisfaction on the lips of the best-selling children’s author and White House canine terrifier. Currie noted that Socks is currently in negotiation with Random House, Simon and Shuster and a number of other major publishing houses attempting to win rights to his final memoirs. “Socks will probably net more from his memoirs than Bill and Hillary combined,” Currie offered on his behalf.
If you’re looking for a night away from the cat house this weekend, look no further than the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club. Friday, it will be a rare evening of comedy AND music, with Dwight Slade providing hilarity at 8pm, leading up to a late music show featuring the White Sox (no relation to the Clintons) a group including members of Yes, Journey and Queen in a benefit concert for MusiCares at 10 pm. Saturday night, Slade performs two shows at 8pm and 10:30 pm.
Need a few more animals in your life? Check out another special comedy show on Mother’s Day, Sunday evening at 7pm to benefit Friends of the Woodland Park Zoo Elephants, with the ever-talented comedian Cathy Sorbo AND your weekend headliner Dwight Slade.