Open Mic: A Viaduct As Sound As Its Name

The City of Seattle never likes to find itself looking up to San Francisco. Consequently, the City Council is considering changing the name of the cursed Alaska Way Viaduct to the Dick Cheney Viaduct. The name change proposal comes as San Francisco voters are being asked to change the name of the city’s primary sewage plant to the George W. Bush Memorial Sewage Plant. “I feel the pain of sewage workers in San Francisco, who already face an odoriferous challenge — not to mention low self esteem when visiting drinking establishments — having to explain that their workplace is named after the most disastrous chief executive in the history of our nation,” says Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels.
The Mayor says naming the currently doomed Alaskan Way viaduct for the Vice President of that same administration will remind drivers to use the endangered expressway as if Mr. Cheney was waiting to shoot them in the face at every turn. “Imagine the instant reduction in road rage incidents, not to mention traffic on the viaduct,” Nickels added.
Governor Christine Gregoire has ordered that the viaduct be demolished by 2012, and seismologists predict that the viaduct could come down before that date in the event of another earthquake. Consequently, city officials say, the dubious memorial to the current administration will be short-lived.
Open Mic night at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club is your opportunity to see talent that is both long and short-lived. You can hear experienced voices try out new material or humor-challenged, first-time comics attempt to gauge their viability one punch line at a time, every Tuesday at 7 pm. Stick around for a music open mic that follows at 9pm or try your voice in song. Who knows, you might have a viaduct named for you one day.