Open Mic: Appalachian-AID

In a continuing effort to outperform the Obama bandwagon, Senator Hillary Clinton today plans a rally destined to attract the entire populations of the states of West Virginia and Kentucky. Following in the footsteps of Senator Barrack Obama who held a massive rally on the banks of the Willamette River in Portland, and Obama’s expected return to Iowa to declare victory in the state where his success began, Clinton plans a rally on the shores of the Big Sandy River — the border between West Virginia and Kentucky — to mark her expected victory in the Bluegrass state Tuesday, and thank her West Virginia voters for her massive victory last week.
Signs reading “Free Meth^odology” were posted throughout the two states’ Appalachian communities. Clinton campaign spokespeople refused to comment on whether Clinton had subscribed to some new political ideology or if the signs meant something else. Some observers noted that the banners were not large enough to fit the entire slogan, and the phrase “odology” had to be scratched on the sign in small print. “This is not over, “said a member of the Clinton campaign as she stepped out of the massive “mess tent” that appeared to hold hundreds of camp stoves. Secret Service officials declined to comment on the large number of bomb squad vehicles parked near the tent.
In order to attract the “working class white Americans” she expects to boost her to ultimate victory, Clinton has invited her Arkansas friend, former governor and former GOP presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee. Huckabee was a “last minute choice” that just came to Clinton after he expounded on his “vision” at last week’s NRA convention. “I think it’s time to trigger a bipartisan vision that will be best for working class white America,” Clinton told reporters.
If you have a vision beyond traveling to the camp stoves of Appalachia, you just might enjoy the laughs at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club every Tuesday night. Open Mic comedy can be a lot of fun as both a participant and an audience member. See would-be fools become comedians, and see comedians become fools. Who knows, if you’ve ever thought about becoming a comedian, you might find you’re a better funny man than Mike Huckabee.