Life at Mainstage Comedy and Music Club!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Open Mic: We're Entitled to Old Fashioned Politics

On the eve of primaries in North Carolina and Indiana, Senator Hillary Clinton continued her “sugar and spice and everything tax-free” campaign for President with a demand that working class Americans unable to buy their first home be given a “principal” holiday during the summer home buying season. Clinton says she would pay for the proposal by having the housing industry pay for the homes of the poor. “Why should we limit federal bailouts to corporate welfare recipients like Bear Stearns?” the senator told an enthusiastic crowd at an Indianapolis homeless shelter. “Every American deserves a home, and if I have to buy it for you with housing industry money, by God, I will.”
Marketing officials within the housing industry did not immediately balk at the Clinton proposal. Officials say if the federal government wants to infuse the struggling housing industry with new tax revenues, they would gladly respond with the required steps to make free homes available for the poorest Americans. “America’s homebuilders will be glad to lift up the Habitat for Humanity torch and have poor Americans build their own homes, which will save some construction costs. Presumably, the government will provide us the necessary construction materials — perhaps those extracted from an asbestos removal program," the Housing Industry spokesman says. "In addition, if the federal government will throw in some land grants with its tax revenue, our executives will be able to live comfortably on their multi-million-dollar bonuses as long as the new homeowners pay a $5,000 monthly homeowners association fee. “
Senator Clinton’s primary opponent, Illinois Senator Barrack Obama, noted that there might be some weaknesses in the former first lady’s plan. “I think the average poor person has a better chance of profiting by sending his or her bank account information to a generator of an email from Nigeria,” the Illinois senator says. Still, polls show working class Democrats polled by Fox News say the Clinton plan will push them to mark their ballot for Hillary.
You too can be rich overnight by simply embarking on a rewarding career in comedy! Imagine, you are free to step on the stage at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club any Tuesday evening at 7 pm and telling all the jokes that inspire the folks at work go back to their desks and be more productive when you try them out at the water cooler. Go ahead, come on stage, be paid TRIPLE what your jokes are worth! * (Not valid for jokes worth more than $0.00)
Join Derek Sheen and other funny folks any Tuesday! By Wednesday, you’ll be ready to try your hand in politics!

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