Eric Blake: A Moving Experience

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A moving economy apparently will not take the time to treasure one last resting place — even if it is a 24-carat monument to regularity. But Hang Fu Jewelers in Hong Kong now threatens to flush away its holdings in an infamous toilet within its flagship store, one ball cock at a time. The jewelry giant seeks to stand and deliver its toilet wealth to massive expansion across the Chinese mainland. Spokesmen for the company say the once-unfathomable thought that a solid-gold toilet is a royal waste has now moved to the thinkable as gold prices approach £500 ($1000 US) an ounce.
Preservationists are likely to poo-poo yet another loss for mankind’s basic needs. The crapper intimidation is now listed as the #2 threat among the world’s historic monuments. Our own Ballard Denny’s is right up there with the royal crapper as evidence that world developers will stop at nothing to wipe out evidence of our natural essence. Is nothing sacred anymore?
Eric Blake’s funny is more than 24-carat gold. His stories will move you, his head is flush with stories that you’ll want to digest and gently process. Best of all, you don’t even have to go all the way to Hong Kong to reflect on his glimmer. You can see him all weekend at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club. Shows begin at 8 pm and 10:30 pm Friday and Saturday. Sorry, the Mainstage Comedy thrones are all made of porcelain.

Eric Blake: Birds gotta Swim, Fish gotta fly...

The city of Seattle has joined the city of San Francisco in banning the distribution of bottled water at City Hall or at city-sponsored events. The environmentally conscious move comes just weeks after an Associated Press study found contaminants in the tap water of major cities across the country — including sex hormones in San Francisco.
Some scientists have discovered female fish undergoing a radical change in sexual characteristics because of the hormone deposits. This has set off a number of instant E-bay enterprises offering San Francisco tap water to transsexual persons attempting to avoid sometimes dangerous and often pricey surgery. Seattle water did not include large amounts of sex hormones, but was apparently heavy in caffeine.
Reports say Democratic presidential candidate Senator Hillary Clinton may be shipping large supplies of San Francisco water to her campaign office to maintain her increasingly visible cajones.
Should you want to see true diversity in Seattle, you need look no further than the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club this weekend. Eric Blake the star of BET’s Comedy View and Galavision’s Que Loco is on stage for shows beginning at 8 pm this evening, and continuing Friday and Saturday night at 8 and 10:30 pm. See Eric and his special flavor of comedy, and pretty soon you’ll start singing to yourself: “Birds gotta swim, and fish gotta fly, why is that cow up in the sky?”

Eric Blake: Love Your Mother

Just a day after Illinois Senator Barrack Obama gave a major address on race, Arizona Senator John McCain quickly fired back with an address on aging. The remarks came just hours after McCain was found wandering around a Dubai shopping mall and reflecting on the great improvements that have been made on the Iraq marketplace he and Senator Joe Liebermann visited in Iraq last fall. “Look, they’ve got air conditioning now,” McCain said as he was found licking a raspberry fudge cone from a Coldstone Creamery store in the Dubai center.
He noted that as he prepares for his final days, he needs to reverse his maverick image before God. In order to do that, he needs to surround himself with an entirely new group of spiritual advisors such as John Hagee and the Rev. Rod Parsley. The two controversial pastors have made “divisive” statements regarding Catholics, gays and Islamic Muslims. “Even if I denounce their controversial statements, I could no longer separate myself from them than I could separate myself from George W. Bush who I love dearly even though he once accused me of fathering a bastard, non-white child during the 2000 primary season. “
McCain says his own aging 95-year-old mother washes out his mouth with a soap product that made me cringe” regularly and sometimes can’t remember to vote for him for the US Senate. Even with all that, he says, he still loves his mother.
Eric Blake not only loves his mother, he loves comedy audiences who see his diverse act of improvisational comedy. Eric will have five shows this weekend at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club, at 8 pm Thursday, 8 and 10:30 pm Friday, and Saturday. The graduate of BET’s Comedy View and Galavision’s Que Loco will delight even your aging senators lost in the Middle East. Come and be healed.