Open Mic: The Night They Raided Comedy

As US Marshalls raided local strip clubs in a surprise Monday evening “racketeering” probe, other Marshalls privately raided Seattle comedy clubs in violation of a Bush administration signing statement outlawing anti-Bush jokes. “We like a good joke as much as anyone, a federal officer told reporters. “However, we don’t think it’s funny when folks misunderestimate the language capacity of our fearless leader.”
When asked what “proper” humor is, the US Attorney for Western Washington pointed to what he termed a “hilarious” statement by Vice President Cheney on in-breeding in West Virginia Monday evening. “It’s no wonder the Vice President has been headlining Republican events for decades,” the US Attorney noted.
Marshalls were apparently given false information in making their raids. That became apparent when they raided a local Pioneer Square comedy club that was rumored to have a Monday evening gathering of “enemy combatants” telling “unsuitable” jokes about the Bush family history. No comedians were found in the building closed for remodeling. That was not as embarrassing as the raid on a second club in Seattle where no comedy was found.
Marshalls say they have heard there is a third comedy club in Seattle where funny anti-Bush comedians are frequently given sanctuary. Sources say this third club serves up comedy open mics every Tuesday evening at 7 pm, and then quickly poses as a place where musicians can beat out tunes at 9 pm . The US Attorney says they have not yet pinpointed the location of this club across from Key Arena that is said to rhyme with “Rain Gauge.” If you are not a federal officer and are simply looking for a free form evening of music and comedy on a “mainstage” simply knock twice, buy a beverage, and say the secret password: “That’s Funny!”