Open Mic: An Elite Serving of Bitters and Arugula

As the Bush administration matter-of-factly admitted its history of torture, as Wall Street continued its plunge, and “bomb-bomb Iran” became a mantra within the Beltway, sniper fire continued in the Democratic primary campaign with a serving of bitters. “You have no friends in Pennsylvania, Barrack Obama, “Senator Hillary Clinton shouted out rolling down her bullet-proof window as she rode in her motorcade,”you are an elitist Emperor of a corps of effete, impudent snobs!”
Senator Obama interrupted his negotiations with Israeli Premier Ehud Olmert and representatives of the Hamas party on his cell phone as he helped an elderly disabled woman across a busy Philadelphia expressway. “Could we all just put down our lattés for a moment and think of what is unfolding on our 50-inch, high definition screens as our Hummers run out of gas?”
Just moments before, he had rescued the woman’s cat from the catwalk on a roof of a 52-story office building, and had helped complete brand new homes on behalf of Habit for Humanity that would house 50,000 refugees from Darfur in New Orleans’ once-destroyed Ninth Ward. Unfortunately, representatives of the media had caught him dining on his favorite Spinach and Arugula salad at a neighborhood Applebee’s. Cable news tickers immediately flashed the ominous headline across America’s information highway: OBAMA REFUSES TO CONDEMN ARUGULA: WOULD YOU DRINK A BEER WITH HIM?
It was left to former President Bill Clinton to insert one last stab into the Illinois Senator: “When the President of the United States answers a phone call at 3AM, what would you rather he or she be eating — a Big Mac or Arugula?”
Are you an effete, impudent snob who loves to crack up at the idiocies of life? You might be just the type to attend an open mic at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club. Imagine the opportunity to grin, cry or throw arugula at the musings of would-be and professional comics attempting to humor your laugh muscles. Maybe you can do better? Here’s your chance! Open Mics are set every Tuesday at 7 pm, followed by singer and musician open mic at 9 pm. Go ahead, laugh until you’re bitter, or cry me a river… hey, can I write the songs or what?