New York Comedians of New York: Hillary At the Summit

Presidential contender Senator Hillary Clinton announced today that she would personally take the Olympic flame up Mt. Everest in May, despite the closing of the mountain to non-Chinese climbers. Clinton, who had called upon President Bush to join other world leaders to boycott Opening Ceremonies of the Olympiad in Beijing on August 8, says she will make the dramatic run with the Olympic torch to demonstrate her strength as commander-in-chief. She expects to arrive at the Everest base camp on the day before the Oregon Primary on May 20, and will reach the summit at 3 AM, Pacific Time, hours before the polls open.

Clinton denies her public plan to sneak up the nearly 30,000-foot summit was scheduled to counter some discrepancies regarding her tales of heroic sniper fire at a Bosnian airport. “Shame on Barrack Obama for hinting such a thing,” Clinton says. “Senator McCain has climbed through a North Vietnamese prison camp, and soon, I will be in a Chinese prison. Despite his use of drugs as a boy, Senator Obama has never been in prison.”
There are hints that the senator’s husband, former President Bill Clinton, may use his friendship with the incumbent’s father, George H.W. Bush, to spring his wife from her expected incarceration. The senior Bush, a former CIA chief, may have some close contacts with Chinese authorities.
If you want to climb the stages to laughter, you don’t need to carry a torch. This weekend you can enjoy the New York Comedians of New York, as they land on the stage of the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club, blintzes, kosher ham sandwiches, and shares of the Brooklyn Bridge in hand. New York Comedians of New York, Jason Good and Jeff Glass will perform at 8 pm Thursday, and 8 pm and 10:30 pm Friday and Saturday. Who knows, with Seattle preparing for its LamaPalooza, you’ll experience Olympic memories without breathing a bit of Beijing Air.